first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
