when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
