idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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