K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize