You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
