I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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