If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
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