erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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