And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
