i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
