I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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