This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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