before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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