So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
