that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
