GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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