porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
