Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Randomize
