i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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