I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
