Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
