one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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