i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
