His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Randomize
