Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
