I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
