Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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