I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
