i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
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