I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
