it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
