I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
