I think i peed on brittanys purse
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize