Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Randomize
