he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
