Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
