I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
3pm strippers are depressing
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
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