So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
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