turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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