I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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