Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
