If that was your dad, he is hot
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize