the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
