im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
