i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
