is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
