It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
