im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
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