I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
