Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
