Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
