if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
