im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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