ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
