I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
