man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize