Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
