And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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