And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
