when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
